A bad idea that won't die: joining FIFA's global calendar

I wrote a piece for ESPN Soccernet about the CONCACAF Champions League and how irrelevant it is in our country.  You can go read it for yourself, but if you want the abridged version:

I hear all the time that MLS needs success in Champions League to be taken seriously, to move forward and to generally form a more perfect union.  But I’m not buying it.

There are so many things MLS needs to continue marching forward -- and this is WAY down the list, believe me.  There are some really good soccer fans in this country who couldn’t tell you the first thing about Champions League.

You know what they say about this tournament? If the local team were playing a home match, you could leave two tickets on your windshield and park in a sketchy neighborhood. And when you got back -- there would be two more tickets in addition to the two you left. And a parking pass!

Some MLS officials have told me privately, in no uncertain terms, they have absolutely zero regard for this event and would prefer not to bother with it.

That's the gist. But it's been interesting to read the comments.

I think comments sections on internet stories are a lot like what people say about battle plans in war. Once the first shot is fired, all strategic planning goes out the window, as randomness and general chaos take hold. Yep. That's where comments sections fall.

So I wasn't too surprised to see (deep sigh) the "conversation" devolve into some old soccer and MLS default bitching.  Specifically, a couple of people turned this into a rehash on how MLS is rubbish and isn't of the standard of some of the second-tier European leagues.

I'm so tired of that one I'd sooner set myself on fire than wade back into it.

A few others managed to turn it into a forum on the soccer calendar, into the beaten-down refrain about how U.S. Soccer simply must adopt the global soccer calendar.

OK, I guess I've got just enough life force to tackle that one. One more time.

Let's start here: This isn't England. Or Italy. Or Spain, etc.

This is a different land.  Going to a Fall-Winter-Spring calendar (one that mimics most of the more prestigious leagues, as opposed to the current Spring-Summer-Fall pro soccer setup in the States) won't work.

In terms of exposure, MLS would get the super shaft. It already gets the shaft from mainstream media. Believe me, it would then get the weapons grade shaft.

Let me put it another way: If the current "beating" soccer takes from newspapers and local TV stations is like Daniel-son getting creamed by the preppie in Karate Kid ("Sweep the leg!"), then the beating MSL would take in a Fall-Winter-Spring arrangement would look like the torture scene in Reservoir Dogs. (If you haven't seen it, ears are chopped off, there's gasoline dousing … just nasty, nasty stuff.)

With football, basketball and hockey in full swing, soccer wouldn't stand a chance in the media scrum. Reduced coverage means reduced attendance and reduced sponsorship dollars. Reduced attendance gives media even more of an excuse to ignore soccer, and so the cycle goes.

Attendance would also suffer as fans spent their sports-entertainment dollar on high school, college and pro football, college and pro basketball, etc.

And have some of these FIFA calendar advocates spent a winter in Chicago? Or in Boston? I know the response here. "They play football in those places!"

True. But American football works in some of these cold-weather markets because they play only 8-10 dates a year. That means maybe two or three dates encumbered by truly brutal weather.  For the land's most popular sport, where waiting lists for season tickets can range into the thousands, that's OK.  In Denver, for example, people would swim through frozen lakes to get to Invesco Field for a big December game, blizzard or no blizzard.

Think the same is true for the Colorado Rapids?

Thought not.

I could go on. But suffice to say: the next time anyone gets the urge to pump a little more blustery air into that poor ol' deflated idea, do us all a favor and conquer it, eh?