Nerves will be frayed Wednesday throughout Europe and South America as huge qualifiers play out across the two soccer-mad continents. How nervous? Think Bernie Madoff as he walks into prison for the first time, wondering why all his new "friends" keep telling him how pretty he looks.
There are 22 qualifiers in the Old Continent and a full slate of five contests down in South America.
The Netherlands has already booked passage to South Africa, the only nation in Europe to do so. England, Slovakia and Denmark could possibly join the Oranje in the "tickets stamped" category. Spain figures to forge ahead in its inevitable passage, although official qualification will have to wait for at least one more fixture date.
In a surprise to absolutely no one, Brazil is officially en route to South Africa 2010, the first from South America to book passage. Chile and Paraguay can join Brazil with wins Wednesday, while Argentina and its comically bloated manager Diego Maradona strain to put that rickety train back on its tracks.
Northern Ireland's match in Belfast against Slovakia will be the afternoon's live Fox Soccer Channel offering. GolTV will show Italy-Bulgaria, for the few of you lucky enough to have GolTV. Both of you.
Of course, the United States and five other nations will be neck deep in the regional qualifier muck Wednesday. But for now we'll look at the rest of the world. So click on for more lowdown on Wednesday's action:

Serbia is on the verge of World Cup qualification for the first time, and can do so when it meets France in Belgrade. (Serbia became a unit within Yugoslavia after World War II, which disintegrated in the terrible wars of the 1990s. It became an independent state once again in 2006.) So the nation is abuzz and a win over struggling Les Bleus would set off historic celebrations. For France, even a win in Belgrade wouldn’t be enough for Raymond Domenech’s curiously meek side, which would still need the Serbs to stumble in the fixture home stretch for a shot at first place.
Denmark can qualify directly from Group 1 with a victory as they travels to Tirana to meet Albania, depending upon other results in the group. A tie would probably set up a massive Denmark-Sweden contest next month. Albania is out of the running, so the Danes need the exploit the opportunity and grab all three points.
Little ol’ Northern Ireland absolutely must win Wednesday in Belfast against Slovakia to remain in the race with Slovakia, which is currently two points ahead with a game in hand. Slovakia defeated Northern Ireland a year ago in the first round of matches, earning a 2-1 result in Bratislava.
Under Fabio Capello, England is cruising in Group 6. A win at Wembley over second-place Croatia will seal the deal for the Three Lions.
England has won seven in a row in the group, including a massive, confidence boosting 4-1 result over Croatia in Zagreb a year ago. So the Croatians will be desperate for all three points on the beleaguered pitch at Wembley. England is in good shape, so much of the drama around London is focused on personnel, such as whether Capello and his fancy spectacles will prefer Emile Heskey or Jermain Defoe at forward, as each has disparate styles. While Capello’s team is well positioned, it is worth noting that Croatia came into Wembley and upset England two years ago, eliminating the Three Lions from Euro 2008.
Scotland would help itself immeasurably by taking all three points against the Netherlands at Hampden Park. The Dutch, although qualified, arrived Monday in Glasgow promising not to make things easy on the Scots.
There are three matches in Group 4, and all have implications. Hanover is the venue as group-leader Germany faces Azerbaijan. Meanwhile, second-place Russia is in Cardiff to face Wales, while third-place Finland looks to stay relevant by taking all three points against tiny Liechtenstein.
Spain has yet to qualify, unable to shake Bosnia-Herzegovina. But the reigning European champs are in good shape and shouldn’t have a tough time against Estonia in Merida, an old Roman capitol along the Iberian Peninsula.
For proud Argentina it is serious squeaky bum time as the side travels to Paraguay on Wednesday. The two-time World Cup champs are in fourth place currently, and they face a strong Paraguay side, one that’s perched on the edge of qualification. All three points will see Paraguay safely through to South Africa, simultaneously leaving Argentina that much closer to a fifth-place finish. In that case, Maradona’s squad (anybody think he’ll still be the manager if the nation finishes fifth?) will need to prevail in a home and away series against CONCACAF’s No. 4 for a place next summer in Africa.
What is Argentina up against as it travels to Asuncion? The side has not won a competitive road match since a 2-0 victory at Venezuela two years ago, with just three goals in six matches over that time.
"I’m feeling composed. There’s no cause for alarm," Maradona said, proving once and for all that all the partying he did in Italy in the 1980s really did a number on his ability to grip reality.
Chile can also qualify Wednesday, but it won’t be easy as the side travels to Brazil for a match in Salvador De Bahia. Perhaps the Chileans can catch Dunga’s team still hungover from Saturday’s big win over bitter rivals Argentina.
QUALIFIER RESET
Who’s in (8 teams): South Africa, Netherlands, Brazil, Australia, Japan, South Korea, North Korea, Ghana.
Europe: 13 places
* South America: 4.5 places
Africa: 5 places
# Asia: 4.5 places
* CONCACAF: 3.5 places
# Oceania: 0.5 place
* South America’s No. 5 and CONCACAF’s No. 4 play a home-and-away series for a World Cup berth.
# Asia’s No. 5 and Oceania’s winner plays a home-and-away series for a World Cup berth.