John Cleese gave the world his Ministry of Silly Walks. Chicago Fire technical director Frank Klopas is bucking to head the Ministry of Silly Statements.

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We interrupt regular programming to demonstrate how some people just don’t get it.

First a quick disclaimer, since I always like to play my soccer on a field of fairness, so to speak: I have some good relationships with a lot of the managers and GMs around MLS. Chicago Fire technical director Frank Klopas is not one that I’ve gotten to know. There’s no particular reason, other than the fact that I had some good conversations previously with manager Denis Hamlett, and because I personally knew assistant manager Mike Jeffries and because I had good relationships with the last two club Communications Directors, good folks, both. All of that is to say, I could always keep up with comings and goings in the Windy City without ever really establishing a relationship with Klopas.

So, I don’t know the guy. And therefore I want to tread lightly in criticizing the man.

Still … did he really say this about his new manager Carlos de los Cobos?

"You look at Salt Lake, with Jason Kreis," Klopas said. "I'm not taking anything away because they won a championship, but if I take Jason Kreis and compare him to Carlos de los Cobos and who they are - that's not taking anything away from Jason - I'm just saying you have a guy with tremendous experience, tremendous knowledge of the game."

 Hmmm. Frank may want to re-consider this one.

We know that managers with a greater base of knowledge of American soccer tend to prosper in MLS, while managers schooled in foreign lands tend to sink like heavy metal in Lake Michigan. Klopas and his Chicago Fire friends ignored this clear trend. And then to use Jason Kreis as an example? Seriously? Kreis is American as they come, and also the youngest coach in the league. And … let me check again …

Yep! There it is. It says right there on the World Wide Inter-web that RSL just won an MLS title. Kreis went around collecting heavy hitter resumes from around MLS and then got busy beating the coaches about their heads with them.

Maybe Klopas needs to dig around in his bag of examples a little more and ferret one out that makes some sense. Because this one don’t,

Now, again, remembering my previously stated fairness doctrine and the fact that I don’t really like to criticize people I don’t know, here’s how Klopas responds (somewhat strangely, I say) to this notion that foreign managers can’t always put the cherry on the championship parfait in MLS, if you know what I mean.

Here’s what Klopas told AOL Fanhouse’s Brian Strauss about the foreign flavor in MLS: "I think that times have changed. With myself, the assistant coaches we have, the transition for coaches from the outside coming in, I think it's easier if you have the right people....I just think those pieces, myself and the coaches that are in place, and the work we have done from a scouting standpoint, understanding the league....When you have the kind of morals and beliefs and the kind of work you put forth every day, with myself in place and the other people we do have, the transition is a lot easier now for coaches coming into the league."

In case you were tallying on the “myself” factor, that was three mentions. In one paragraph.

Hmmm.

Apparent translation: "As long as I’m here, we’re aalll good."

Oh, and before I officially re-dress myself in my suit of fairness, let me say one more thing:

About Klopas’ assertion that “times have changed,” in MLS … uh, have they? Like, they’ve changed since … two American coaches (Kreis and Bruce Arena) faced each other six weeks ago in the MLS Cup final?

There seems to be a lot of bluster coming out of the Windy City right now.

(Update: I've written enough about how Chicago and Red Bull wet the bed when they hired foreign bosses. So, related to this post, I'll let Peter Wilt take over the beatings for a little while. Peter is a smart dude, so check out his thoughts on the de los Cobos hiring.)