Totally random thought on Chad Ochocinco and goalkeeping

I was taking a quick break from writing and invoicing (yuk!) today and glanced up to watch Fox Soccer Channel’s Saves of the Week segment. Suddenly, I had myself a badass TRT (totally random thought). 

Chad Ochocinco’s recent trial as a real soccer player went over like a fart in church.  That is, not so great.  In one sense, it worked out splendidly for Sporting Kansas City, benefitting the club and MLS in bonus exposure aplenty. But as a proper exercise in assessing an athlete for possible inclusion on the SKC roster, well, it was a non-starter.

Ochocinco’s skills and awareness simply weren’t anywhere close to par. He was a good dude about it, humbly acknowledging as much. Thing is, if you started today and worked diligently with Ochocinco (or a similarly superb athlete) it would take years for him to develop into a professional grade soccer player. There’s just too much nuance involved. Raw athletic ability will take a man only so far. He can’t be a black hole with his touch, constantly losing the ball. He must develop sufficient awareness of space and time, and that takes hundreds of practices and/or matches; short of that, he’s an ineffective element, although a damn fast one.

But how about this: How long would it take for a goalkeeping makeover? How long are we talking about to turn someone a crazy-good athlete Ochocinco into a sturdy sentinel of goal? Read on …

I don’t think it would take that long. I’m not diminishing the importance of experience in regard to goalkeeping. Clearly, that’s a major factor, which is why figures like Kasey Keller, Brad Friedel and others can remain effective at a very high level, even into their 40s. They may not hop around like spring bunnies anymore, but the instincts remain at high velocity, augmented by the confidence born of “been there, done that.”

Still, think about Ochocinco and what he would have going for him. Great hands. Great feet. Good size (although not great for a goalkeeper, at 6-1, 192). Fantastic athletic ability and confidence that teeters on arrogance, which is probably about where you want it for a goalkeeper.

Clearly, he would need specialized training from a good coach. And he would need matches to develop a basic level of situational awareness.  But we might even be talking about months rather than years.

I mean, we all know the old chestnut about Americans developing faster as goalkeepers, as opposed to defenders, midfielders and forwards, right?

I understand that the exercise was never to see if Chad Ochocinco could actually become a Sporting Kansas City player. I mean, Teal Bunbury never really had anything to worry about, did he?

But I wish someone around during that high-profile little bit would have said, “Yo, Chad, you ever stand in goal and take a few shots?”

Perhaps he did, and I just didn’t see that part. Either way, I’d just wager an icy cold Hoegaarden that he would show remarkably rapid improvement standing between the pipes, probably much better at the end of a practice than he was to begin it. He’d certainly demonstrate far more progress in a practice or two than he did in those clumsy efforts at shooting and crossing.