Why they need a stadium in Houston – badly

I just got back from a quick trip to Houston, where I saw Colorado get off the matt with a (somewhat fortuitous) 2-1 win over the Orange. Don’t sweat it, Tally Hall. You’ve had better nights, and you’ll have better nights in the future.

I might see another game or two there this year. But it’s also possible that I’ve made my last trip to the gritty little ground on the University of Houston campus. I know it’s the last trip for Colorado Rapids center back Drew Moor (unless the sides meet in the playoffs, which is possible but quite unlikely). I said hello to Drew inside the nook-and-cranny of a visitors’ locker room there. He told me he had never won at Robertson; all those years in Dallas, he never won. The Rapids didn’t win there last year. So, he’s thinking he finally got on top of this thing, just in time.

Believe me, he won’t miss that little locker room. Nor will anyone else. It looks like a really big storage closet – a very sparsely furnished one, at that.  The Dynamo locker room is just a little bit better. It’s bigger, slightly, and has just a few more accessories. I’m sure the changing rooms at the new grounds will be quite swell in comparison. Then again, my college dorm was quite swell in comparison, so I guess I really should choose other words. Suffice to say, the new locker rooms will be, like everything else at the 22,000-seat facility new stadium, just dandy.

Here, in no particular order, are some other reasons I won’t miss Robertson Stadium ... :

I was told to pull into Lot 12A.  Fair enough. I saw the sign that said Lot 12A, but it was divided into two sections. So I pull in, smile at the friendly attendants and say, “How’s it going? I’m looking for 12A.”

So one of ‘em pulls out a little piece of paper. “Let’s see. 12A? 12A?”  He starts looking around, talking to someone and pointing off to another section in lands beyond. Now, remember, he can practically lean on the temporary signage that says “12A.” Once I point that out – in a very cheery way – he says, “Oh, yeah. Well, go on in!”

Bottom line here: there will always be issues when teams can’t control security, parking, concessions, etc., at their grounds. So, we’ll just move on.

Speaking of that parking lot, construction on one of the main arteries leading away after the game had  further clogged what is always a maddening little clog anyway. So I made a turn toward Highway 59 rather than the usual I-45.  Big mistake.

I mean, I knew it wasn’t great neighborhood. But I grew up in a place that wasn’t exactly the Upper West Side. So I thought it would be OK.  But, geesch. This area, north of the U of H campus, is like the land time forgot. It’s a tough place.

Back to the stadium itself: I won’t miss the itty-bitty field. Every time I visit, I try to figure out just exactly how wide it is. It’s like a little ritual of mine.  I mean, if you count the penalty area (44 yards wide), add the 10-yard marks from the corners, etc., it comes to about 69 or 70 yards. But it just doesn’t look like it. And it doesn’t play like it. Which means the games are frequently un-beautiful. (Did you see the first half last night? The little field wasn’t the only problem, for sure … but it didn’t help.)

Bathroom in the press box? “Sure. Take the elevator down to ground level and do your worst, sir!” Sigh.

If you’re a fan, stop for a beer or a burger nearby before the match? Well, there’s a Wendy’s. And a Popeyes. And a couple of other fast food choices.  Sigh.

This isn’t even addressing the massive issue of revenue streams, all the money the MLS club leaves on the table in not having naming rights, parking revenue and other sponsor-driven streams.

I could go on. But what’s the point? I will, however, leave you with this story. (Sorry if I have told it before, but it wonderfully illustrates what everyone is dealing with in this relic of a ground.) On a previous visit I arrived about two and a half  hours before kickoff. First person I saw as I got into the stadium was one of the broadcasters. He was coming out of the bathroom. And he was red hot.

“Hey, Steve!” he said, fairly aggressively. “I’d come over and shake your hand. But I just did some business in there and they don’t have any paper!”

Ahem. Toilet paper? Paper towels? … There is a difference here. Huge difference.

I didn’t ask. But I’m sure there will be plenty of paper, all kinds, in the new place.

Look, I don’t blame any Dynamo fan for maintaining some affection for Robertson Stadium. It’s dingy. But it’s yourdingy. I get that.

That said … they can’t pop the top on this new ground in the East End of downtown Houston soon enough.