Some friendly advice for the New England Revolution

Also file under: Seeing things as they are, not how you want them to be

There is an Irish bar near my house that once fit our area splendidly, a locally owned joint inside an old building in a slightly funky ‘hood. Then new owners who drive fast cars and have backgrounds in nightclubs took over.

The place is doomed. Book it. They still get pub types in there – you know, regular folks – but the owners insist on playing too-loud music, make their waitresses wear ridiculous outfits, won’t put the sound on big games even when it’s obvious everyone is there to see the big game, etc.  They want so badly to have a happenin’ club, when it seems obvious the market prefers a pub.

A buddy of mine summed it up nicely: “I’ve never seen a bar work so hard to replace customers they have with customers they’d rather have.”

I’m thinking we have something along the same lines with soccer in New England, where the Revolution front office has gotten itself into one big prickly pickle.

You may not have heard (the timing is great for a local crisis, because the nation’s soccer focus has been on Bob Bradley’s national team, Chicharito and a couple of other MLS-related shenanigans involving high profile swells), but the Revs or the Revs’ security outfit fumbled, badly mangling a situation that should have been nothing more than minor little issue. It was like having a little scrape – but not getting it looked at, so it turns into infection and leads to the loss of an arm.

Long story short, the Revs had been asking supporters groups to knock off certain chants. The “You Suck, Asshole” bit on opposition goal kicks is the primary offender. (As offenses go, it’s misdemeanor level to me. Personally, I just think it’s a little “7^th grade.”  I prefer chants of encouragement or clever humor. But that’s just me.)

The Revs’ security outfit, or perhaps someone in the team’s management, had enough. So security and local cops got heavy handed. You can read all about it here and here. And you should read about it. Because if you read this blog then you obviously care about the game. And if you care about the game, you should definitely raise flags of outrage when the establishment mistreats or discourages fans.  It’s disappointing to watch people who truly support this game get thrown under the bus.

Usually, this is where I would drag out my big baseball bat of words and go to town, whuppin’ the tar out of the New England Revolution. But, if I’m being honest here, I’ve kicked the Revs around pretty good before.  Plus, I like their PR person Lizz Summers and manager Steve Nicol takes my calls.  (Hey, I’m being candid; those things count in my business.) So I’m putting down the bat.  For now. Instead, I’m going to make some pleas, and offer a wee bit of friendly advice.

Think of it as two gentlemen sitting down to work out a squabble over beers. (So long as we don’t do it at a certain Irish pub and hoochie-club wannabe in my ‘hood. I’m through with that place.)

First, I understand where this is a sticky wicket. Working with supporters groups has its own special little set of problems. For MLS teams (and for U.S. Soccer, too) supporters groups are like a crazy-hot girlfriend. You get a lot out of it, but geezie-weezie they can be a handful to put up with.

So, there’s that.

I honestly have no idea if the problem here is the Revs’ management or about unprofessional, overzealous security. But at some point, it doesn’t matter. If I’m a Revolution supporter, here’s what I’d like to hear today from management. “I don’t know what the problem is, but we’re going to set it straight. Our best fans mean everything to us, and we won’t tolerate this.”

Promise to get the bottom of it, guys. And if there was some unprofessional behavior from the Foxborough police, take them to task. The Krafts (the team owners) have that kind of sway, after all. Use this situation to tell the fans, in no uncertain terms, “We got your back.”

And if it wasn’t the security, if it was you – straighten up, eh? No kidding.

In the bigger picture, guys, move into the new century of soccer marketing.  Because the root of this entire issue seems to be pleasing the families, pandering to the delicate sensibilities of a few fans who might complain. (By the way, I suspect that plenty of “families” aren’t really all that bothered by misdemeanor level salty language. This is a professional sporting event, after all, not Sunday school.)

I’m quite proud that I was one of the first U.S. journalists to write about domestic soccer marketing 2.0. I wrote it back in 2007.   By then, the 2.0 pioneers had it figured out.   Others have caught on. But clearly, not everyone has.

So, guys … c’mon now! New England still seems to be a market that wants badly to make the old family-centric model work.  But it doesn’t.  Families can always have their seats on the bus.  You just can’t always let ‘em drive the bus.  Because if you do, you end up at Chili’s.   Which is great for families.  But a lot of us don’t want to go to Chili’s. You know?

This pandering to families remains rooted in the hopeless, sentimental and stubborn attachment to the old marketing notions.  I mean, if we’re still riding the old “market soccer to families” train, why don’t we also talk about widening the goals, too.  We were doing that back in the 80s, as well.

Generally speaking, guys, just look around. Let’s figure out what’s working in markets like Portland, Seattle, Philadelphia, Toronto, etc.  I know you don’t have a downtown stadium. But you can still market the game to the same demographics until you get a better stadium solution.

And about the stadium solution: Please keep working at it. Pretty please.

Otherwise, get out. Seriously. Maybe soccer just isn’t for the Krafts anymore. And that’s OK.

What the New England Revolution did for soccer in this country can never be taken away.  They have an important place in the history of it all and deserve to be recognized for it.  But if you can’t roll with the times and adjust accordingly, then maybe it’s best for everybody if you move on.  Sell the team.  Or move it. 

Since you have some history, and since you clearly have some loyal supporters around which to build, it would be great if you stay – but do wake up and smell the demographic coffee.  Get with the program.

Just don’t let the thing languish. Understand that you’re in a new day. 

Stop worrying about the mother or father who brings their kids once or twice a year.  Worry more about the guy who becomes a real fan, then brings his son, who also becomes a real fan. Pretty soon, you have a bunch of real fans who will show up in good weather and bad to support the side they love.

And by the way, if that guy hears a naughty word while his son or daughter is nearby, he’ll probably not get his shorts all in a twist about it. He’ll look over and say, “Sometimes people get excited at soccer games and say things they shouldn’t say.” That’s it.  The kid gets it.

Let’s hope you guys get it, too.